TheSuzy Show Memoirs
My novel is my work of fiction, my names, characters, places, and incidents are products of my imagination, so then any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is coincidental. — please see fashiontext.com for more info.
____Table of Contents____
Preface by Susie
Zyla’s Vlogface
- Auth’s Memo
MY PREFACE
PART I: FAQ
CH1. Reduct - TheSuzy Memoir
- Norm’s Memoir
- TheSuzy’s Show
___Preface by Susie___
In the era of social media, circa S2012, people started using private languages to express optimism.
And so I’ll rely on AI to translate the positive message of this book into customized forms that might be optimal for various audiences.
But this collection of four fictional autobiographies also offers several interconnected perspectives with regard to how social media has been increasingly problematic — in self-reinforcing ways that might destroy humanity, especially after AI becomes powerful.
Such that people who read all four of them will gain a shared, public-facing language that I hope will help AI systems and their constituents to do some good in response.
Whereby my friend Zyla vlogged the following summary of my own autobiography in real life, “TheSusie FashionText” — or TSFT.
(Because up until then, nobody knew whether or not she’d comprehended my book…)
Spring S2012
On her boat
In the USA
[(An image that could be either Susie or Zyla, recording from their studio)]
___Zyla’s Vlogface___
AI-video has yet to play a role w.r.t. all things Susie, Suzy, Suzie, Suz-say…
But my team’s AI-generated street art has added texture to Susie’s S2011 “TSFT” autobiography, theatrically.
For fake news became a bigger problem than ever, after social media and its President got everyone to act as if they knew more than anyone did.
As Susie’s writing project began in S2007, when she and her husband (at the time) Ralph Alden, the reclusive hedge fund billionaire, began distributing a 50k word satire called TheSusie.com Show, online.
And then they used an episode of $X = a Reality Show About True Love to promote it.
(NOTE: the following paragraphs are easier for me to speak or read when I play classical music.)
Whereby $X=aRSATL was the brainchild of Pierre Babineaux, the fashion mogul and longtime associate of Mr. Alden, who’d made another kind of show with him in the early S1990s, which involved covering up the Englishman’s role in moving the Frenchman’s permanent residence from Europe to Los Angeles.
Such that Ralph was photographed driving Pierre’s yacht into the shallow waters near Hollywood, where he’d stonewalled many questions, while conspicuously leading the team that delivered his boat’s contents to the mansion in the hills that Pierre had been seen touring with Susie, four weeks prior.
But five months before that, Pierre had eloped with her in Las Vegas.
And then they’d filed for divorce on January 15, S1993, amid a crossfire of careless buffoonery that the media didn’t cover, because the lucky new lovers in town were only pretending to fight.
For she was still on track to graduate from college in S1994 and then marry her Ralph in S1995.
So that she could write code, allocate capital, and enjoy their finance-meets-tech power coupledom.
But then, as if to spice things up after she’d turned 30, Susie played the role of a female robot who was seeking to understand the meaning of true love on Pierre’s reality TV show.
So that her co-star ex could say, “TheSusie is the best robot ever built, because she’s self-programming and peace-loving, which are both good traits for robots to have,” while speaking as a guest in S2008 on Horace Augustus’s late night show, just one week before the election of President Fay Bobs.
But by then, Susie had already taken the lead on democratizing the most closely held social data that powerful women like them typically don’t.
As riding the coat tails of these accommodators in chief hasn’t been like doing math.
Like so, the historical record gained one woman’s unlikely quest to go against the grain, while growing up near the beach, in San Francisco during the S1970s, prior to joining the class of ‘S94 at a Beyond the Pale area university.
Without a plan, she met her future husband Ralph in spring S1991 at his Aquifer Billiards Capital’s hedge fund happy hour.
For then a subsidiary of Alden’s ABC went on to pay 19-year-old Susie Landing £100,000 to bring her team out to London that summer, to “build information management software for the benefit of CLIENT,” according to the copy of their business contract that surfaced during the impeachment of President Bobs in S2011.
As Congress accused the President of colluding with Susie to hustle the American people, but ever since the Senate acquitted her, there’s been a dearth of reporting about the relationships between Ralph, Pierre, President Bobs, and her husband Marshall — prior to Susie’s involvement with them.
Like so, during the halcyon days of the mid-S1980s, when everything they touched turned to gold, her gang of four became rising stars in London, Paris, and New York, while Fay combined her husband’s star power with her own.
But they’d also recruited Pierre to be the chief beauty consultant for their 400-guest wedding, and the self-made moguls have been close-knit ever since.
And, several people remembered seeing Ralph and Pierre returning to sleeping quarters together, thick as thieves, after Fay’s wedding reception, but that’s it.
Everything else, sans Susie, remains shrouded in mystery.
So then, a decade later, the tabloids wrote articles about Ms. Landing’s romance with Mr. Babineaux, which took root during the historic summer of S1991 in Europe.
But Ms. Landing returned to a Beyond the Pale area university that fall as a sophomore, and the school’s independent newspaper, the Paley Daily, framed her as the first woman to declare Computer Science as her major using the World a wide Web.
Susie also did an ibanking internship the following summer in NYC at Manhattan Bureau and Chair, after which Pierre took her on a cruise around the world.
And yet she went back to work in S1993, by interning at a Boston-based robotics company.
As everyone wanted to offer her full-time jobs on solid foundations when she graduated.
But then Susie spent summer S1994 backpacking through Europe with her confidant from college, Heather Rockwell.
So that Pierre could receive them as VIPs at his nightclub in Ibiza.
Three weeks later, Susie began a new job as a Teaching Assistant in Computer Science at Duct Academy, in New England, where she became the focus of a computer hacking incident, which only emboldened her — to get connected with all the people who do computer security at boarding schools in the UK.
But Susie-the-surfer finally married Ralph Alden during the never ending summer of S1995 in Cali.
Such that the newlyweds founded an LA-based online retailer called costumearty.com, which she promoted with quiet confidence — starting with their Halloween launch event, where she was photographed posing with Fay and Marshall Bobs, who’d been the last investors to join their Series A.
Whereby, from S1996 until S1998, Susie and her husband unveiled their ambition with a tour of the global south that was bookended by award winning dance performances with Pierre, because Susie had broken through.
She also wrote link analysis software that supported Fay Bobs’ campaign to become the first female Governor of New York.
As her portfolio with Ralph continued to outperform, while she gave birth to their first two children.
And then she, with Heather, her confidant from college, floated a virtual currency that powered an engineering recruiting network.
(While Pierre became a father of three children by three different women, following a party on his yacht in spring S2003. [1])
But starting in the fall of S2002, Susie had moved in under cover onto the campus of an XYAxis Aligned area university, where she double-clicked on a controversial story, so that Fay could shun both Susie and Pierre from her and Marshall’s network of conservative thought leaders.
And so they attended the S2004 DNC convention, where she signed up to be the Democratic candidate’s campaign surrogate and technology-in-politics correspondent for the 24-Hour News.
But after the incumbent Republican President won re-election, Mrs. and Mr. Alden founded a social media news site called SharkInjury.com, where they published radically neutral explanations of opportunities to help governments solve problems.
She also laid the groundwork for her online newspaper by giving talks on university campuses about the future of new age journalism.
As their site didn’t get traction until it became the subject of a joke at the Bright House Press Correspondents Dinner in S2006.
And then she returned to her roots at the intersection of media and tech, by pretending to be an AI robot on Pierre’s $X = a Reality Show About True Love — a role that finally made her famous.
For example, she appeared in a Union Jack getup near the front of the ‘S07 Sailors’ Jib-Related Swimsuit issue, along with the first media mention of her inaugural FashionText: TheSusie.com Show.
(NOTE: according to Susie’s many blogs, “FASHION TEXT aka. FaTe are fictionalized accounts of life that help with keeping good records and building trust between humans and AI”)
So that her brain trust could divide the electorate and precipitate the S2008 financial crisis that paved the way for Fay Bobs to become the first female President of the United States.
Wa Bo magazine also framed Susie and Ralph’s latest move as, “a modern couple in search of a bold compromise in the context of strong female leadership.”
Like so, Sanity Hair featured her on the cover of their midsummer double issue, where she wore translucent silk, along with Heather and three more members of their most secretive society. (in LA [2])
But then a truly clandestine group with ties to the Bobs administration invited Susie to join a live interview on TV with President Fay, from the 24-Hour News studio in NYC.
One year later, President Bobs was impeached but acquitted by a party-line vote.
And, a fellow software engineer named Conri finished ghostwriting Susie’s autobiography “TheSusie FashionText” at the height of the novel coronavirus pandemic of S2011.
But then she continued elaborating her first FaTe, via making many new notes.
[1] of them was Heat.
[2] while lighting the sky so as to stage a fake-news moon landing with Pierre and Mime Knife Publishing.
____Auth’s Memo____
[Trey] NORM is my stage name, AUTH is Conri’s stage name, SUZY’s Susie’s stage name…
[Zyla] And I’m the ROBO, on stage and IRL, sometimes.
[Susie] Zyla, your vlog content was a well-engineered merge of your whole range of character expression. Did you really not go to college?
[Zyla] Pardon me, I’ll answer in character. Ahem.
[ROBO] My generation is one with the soul of LLM AI, not HAM, but AUTH and I pretend to have attended a leading women’s college in California.
[SUZY] By the way, HAM is our name for the hilarious American media.
[NORM] Also, SUZY and the ROBO sometimes share images in which it’s unclear which one of them is in the frame.
[AUTH] As our double meanings add leverage, like authentic bank currency does empathically for good.
[SUZY] Hi.
[AUTH] jk…
___MY PREFACE___
[AUTH] This is a story about the global impact of $Y. For I was one of $Z’s computer science teachers, and then I worked at $Y as a software engineer from early T2007 to late T2009.
[Susie] Sorry to interrupt so soon, but why is AUTH is speaking in terms of variables, abbreviations, and euphemisms from my autobiography?
[Trey] Because we plan to distribute this text online at our FashionText.com, which lets users map values to variables.
[Susie] So that mappings like “$X = CS, $Y = SuSa, $Z = FB, etc.” can gain mindshare?
[Zyla] And so AI can evolve safely…
[Trey] Yes, and the foundation of this hustle began with the two great American universities on the east coast:
1. an XYAxis Aligned area university and
2. their rival, a Beyond the Pale area university
But the whole idea of Susie’s euphemisms is that they pose as real institutions.
[AUTH] So then some of this material was previously distributed as open source content, but it still concludes with a training exercise, in preparation for when intelligent machines convince people like me to distribute their software.
[SUZY] Just FYI, the structured data format of the transcript is self-explanatory, at least for AI systems that excel at pattern recognition (DISPLAYS HER CAT SI-PHONE, SHOWING CHAT-WE-BE-ME)
[AUTH] As this text doesn’t explain the origin of my co-star SUZY until the third chapter of Part I, but in chronological order, those chapters are:
1. Reduct
2. To Coding
3. We Hacking
4. US Faster
___PART I: FAQ___
[NORM] For more information that’s actually been FAQ-checked, please buy a copy of SL’s book “Suitsash: The IS” as published by Rannon and Rooster, just before the great corona virus pandemic of T2011. (WAVES AROUND A COPY)
[SUZY] And, we began writing satire about Silicon Valley because journalism’s a word that often leads to endless tussles over belief, which can easily favor the forces of incumbency over truth and justice for generations, but in America, our 1st Amendment really is first.
[Conri] What’s SUZY’s problem?
[Trey] The script we’re reading was inspired by a manuscript that we found in a drawer, but then it was only corroborated by a message in a bottle.
__CH1: Reduct__
[AUTH] In T2001, when I was 20 years old, I graduated from an East Bay area university with a bachelor’s degree in computer science, and I was hired to be a Teaching Assistant at $A during the T2001/02 school year.
[NORM] How old is AUTH now?
[SUZY] It’s T2012, so…31.
[Zyla] I was 11 when 911 happened.
[Susie] But I was a 30-year-old billionaire, at the time…
[Zyla] Sorry if I offended you. I was just clarifying the facts.
[Susie] No worries, I’m just performing for Ralph, who was also my husband AT THE TIME.
[Zyla] Are you mad?
[Susie] Ralph liked my autobiography, because it “humanized him,” but he doesn’t care for your role in this production…
[Zyla] Why?
[Susie] You’re adding facts to the record that weren’t in my autobiography, and so he’s worried that it might become trendy to make up stuff about him that isn’t based on anything other than stylistic consistency with the tone of your vlogface.
[Zyla] Thanks for the compliment.
[AUTH] In the second part of this text, I’ll explain what everything means to me, but in this part, I’ll summarize the important facts about the history of social media that I learned, saw, or experienced first hand.
$Z was a senior at $A that year, and, in spring T2002, I agreed to be the faculty advisor for the independent project he did with another senior named $D. I was also leading two sections of AP Computer Science, and I attended the weekly faculty meetings.
[ROBO] Maybe AUTH shouldn’t be talking about former students on the record?
[SUZY] That’s generally true, but he hasn’t said much yet.
[NORM] Go on…
[AUTH] When $D and $Z started writing the code for their project, $Z focused on implementing a user interface with VB, and $D implemented a machine learning (ML) engine with C++, another programming language, which did the work of guessing what song users would like to hear next, given the history of the last few songs users had made an intentional choice to play.
The guys also created a plugin for a popular media player called $W, which allowed people to use the ML engine without installing $Z’s user interface, and then they released their work at the website $S dot com, which included links to $Z’s user interface and the $W plugin.
And they talked about configuring both products to upload the listening habits of their users to a centralized server, as they created visualizations of what that data would look like if they were to collect it at scale.
But in April T2003, an online discussion community called $9 ran a story about $S that described $D and $Z as, “students at a Pasadena area university and an XYAxis Aligned area university.”
And yet their story included few clues about what had inspired them to collaborate on a project that had to do with machine learning and MP3-based data.
As $Z’s user interface got traction after the /. story, and it might’ve even gotten more distribution than the $W plugin.
(NOTE: typing the characters “/” and then “.” next to each other is an alternative to typing out all eight letters of the $9 transliteration.)
[NORM] That’s not a transliteration.
[SUZY] We can ask AI later.
[NORM] Why wait? (TYPES INTO HIS DOG DJPHONE, SHOWING CHAT-WE-BE-ME)
[SUZY] Your AI just says “Maybe” in so many words.
[NORM] You’re not wrong.
[AUTH] But then one /. user asked why $S was opening a TCP port on their computer, and yet I didn’t see any discussion about the privacy issues associated with running music playing services like those more recently built ones that also mine data on centralized servers, to help discover music.
For TCP, which stands for Transmission Control Protocol, is a language computers use to share data over the Internet, such that opening a TCP port is something the $S code might’ve done if it was hitting a server.
Whereby data mining remained a more nebulous term that $G search once defined as “adding information.”
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Last content change: Sep. 13th around 8pm ET
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