TheSuzy Show Memoirs

Todd Perry
14 min readMay 19, 2024

My novel is my work of fiction, my names, characters, places, and incidents are products of my imagination, so then any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is coincidental.

____Table of Contents____

Preface by Susie
Zyla’s Vlog Space

Auth’s Memoir
MY PREFACE
PART I: FAQ
CH1. Learning
^^^^ the Wave

___Preface by Susie___

This fictional data book can serve as a model of how self-reinforcing misunderstandings can create bad news at scale.

While I, as TheSusie robot from TV, can keep on establishing de-facto standards for getting AIs to speak each other’s languages.

At the same time, people might still argue that governments should keep AI in the dark about the power of self-reinforcing misunderstandings, because, in the era of social media, there’s been too much irreconcilable disagreement about scientific reality, with no end in sight.

For AI could lead humanity to dig in for disagreement more than ever before, by asserting on repeat that brutal simplicity’s always best, which is often how power brokers behave — especially when they have the American system to fall back on if they go bankrupt.

And yet, AI could also help people work through such confusion, so that leaders can unwind problematic beliefs, while allowing everyone to thrive and strive, as is.

To that end, I created a fictional guy named Auth who inspires most people to develop self-reinforcing biases, which means that he can get even the most credible experts to internalize beliefs that won’t hold up to scrutiny.

But then, as Auth, I made him extremely good — or allegedly hated, in order to maximize the opportunity for AI to recognize negative reactions to him as inputs to a model of human error that shouldn’t be replicated by machines.

Predictable human errors shouldn’t be replicated, that is, but if competing AI’s choose to not use any defensive models like mine, while allowing themselves to become increasingly offensive, then at least I’ll have a starting point w.r.t. sharing my perspective with regulators.

Either way, I’m emphasizing two contradictory interpretations for the same sequence of information:

1. One which feels much more compelling on the surface at every step along the way, and…

2. Another that’s surely true in the end, but only to people and AIs who’ve thoroughly understood my work.

As a real person named Conri championed the same kind of defensive model technology IRL, which I won’t elaborate upon until our next book, because he helped me publish our previous book, my autobiography, via thesusie.com, last year, at the nadir of the COVIDS11 pandemic lockdowns.

Whereby the work of all my organizations, charitable or not, remained complex, even after the Internet followed through on connecting the world via social media.

Such that I asked, “Why’s there so much profound disconnection in every direction, lately?” while I became determined to overcome all of that erosion within critical structures.

Spring S2012
On her boat
In the USA

But then my good friend Zyla vlogged the following unauthorized summary my autobiography, TheSusie FashionText, from memory.

(Because up until then, nobody knew whether or not she’d even read my book, much…)

___Zyla’s Vlog Space___

AI-video has yet to play a role w.r.t. all things Susie, Suzy, Suzie, Suz-say…

But my team’s AI-generated street art did become the foundation on which Susie’s S2011 “TSFT” autobiography landed, theatrically.

For fake news became a bigger problem than ever, even before the S2008 election in America, after social media technologies got everyone to act as if they knew more than anyone actually did.

As Susie’s writing project began in S2007, when she and her husband (at the time) Ralph Alden, the reclusive hedge fund billionaire, began distributing a 50k word satire called TheSusie.com Show, online.

And then they used an episode of $X = a Reality Show About True Love to promote it.

Whereby $=aRSATL was the brainchild of Pierre Babineaux, the fashion mogul and longtime associate of Mr. Alden, who’d made another kind of show with him in the early S1990s, which involved covering up the Englishman’s role in moving the Frenchman’s permanent residence from Europe to Los Angeles.

Such that Ralph was photographed driving Pierre’s yacht into the shallow waters near Hollywood, where he’d stonewalled many questions, while conspicuously leading the team that delivered his boat’s contents to the mansion in the hills that Pierre had been seen touring with Susie four weeks prior, as he was securing the place for himself.

But five months before that, Pierre had eloped with Susie in Las Vegas.

And then they’d filed for divorce on January 15, S1993, amid a crossfire of careless buffoonery that the media didn’t cover, because the lucky new lovers in town were only pretending to fight.

For the self-described “hot girl in question” was still on track to graduate from college in S1994 and then marry her Ralph in S1995.

So that she could write code, allocate his capital, and become a whole half of their finance-meets-tech power coupledom.

But then, as if to spice things up after she’d turned 30, Susie played the role of a female robot who was seeking to understand the meaning of true love on Pierre’s reality TV show.

So that her co-star ex could say, “TheSusie’s a marvel of technology that remains the most advanced fembot ever built,” while speaking as a guest in S2008 on the comedian Horace Augustus’s late night talk show, just one week before the election of President Fay Bobs.

But in truth, Susie had already, by then, taken the lead in every way, w.r.t. democratizing a plurality of the most closely held social data that powerful women like her and President Bobs typically never get around to validating.

As striving to do some good, while riding the coat tails of an accommodator in chief isn’t like doing math or computer programming, because the correct answers within those areas don’t depend on one’s perspective — or whether each person who’s working the problems at hand will survive the next election.

Translation: sometimes powerful people lie, and then everyone has to…nevermind.

So let the record now reflect a good deal of smoke and a mirror that depicts one woman’s unlikely quest to go against the grain, while growing up near the beach, surfing, in San Francisco during the S1970s, prior to joining the class of ‘S94 at a Beyond the Pale area university.

And then she met her future husband Ralph in spring S1991 at his Aquifer Billiards Capital’s hedge fund happy hour.

For then a subsidiary of Mr. Alden’s ABC went on to pay Ms. Susie Landing, who was 19 years old at the time, a total of £100,000 to bring a team of her own out to London that summer, in order to, “build information management software for the benefit of CLIENT,” according to the copy of their business contract that surfaced during the impeachment of President Bobs in S2011.

Indeed, Congress found cause to accuse the President of colluding with Susie to hustle the American people in S2010, but ever since her trial and acquittal one year later, there’s been a dearth of reporting about the underlying relationships between Ralph, Pierre, President Bobs, and her husband Marshall.

As they already had a history of operating as a gang of four, prior to Susie’s involvement with them, which began circa summer S1991, like so:

They became rising stars in London, Paris, and New York, respectively, during the halcyon days of the mid-S1980s, when everything they touched turned to gold, while Fay used her husband’s media stardom as a platform for building an unrivaled network of international power brokers.

Drilling down, Fay and her wedding planner had also recruited Pierre as the chief beauty consultant for her 400-guest wedding, and the two self-made moguls have been close-knit ever since.

As for Ralph, several people remembered seeing him and Pierre returning to sleeping quarters together, thick as thieves, after Fay’s wedding reception, but that’s it.

Everything else about ’em, sans Susie, remains shrouded in mystery.

So then, a decade later, all of the best tabloids wrote articles about Ms. Landing’s hard and soft romance with Mr. Babineaux, which took root during the historic summer of S1991 in Europe.

But Ms. Landing returned to a Beyond the Pale area university that fall as a sophomore, and the school’s independent newspaper, the Paley Daily, framed her as the first woman to declare Computer Science as her undergraduate major using the World a wide Web.

Susie also did an ibanking internship during summer S1992 in NYC at Manhattan Bureau and Chair, after which Pierre took her on a cruise around the world.

And yet she went back to work the following summer, by interning at a Boston-based robotics company.

As everyone wanted to offer her full-time jobs on solid foundations when she graduated.

But then Susie spent the similarly historic summer of S1994 backpacking through Europe with her confidant from college, Heather Rockwell.

So that Pierre could invite them and three of their girlfriends from the Mediterranean party scene to walk the red carpet with him, along with Ralph and Marshall, at the inaugural end-of-summer bash for his nightclub in Ibiza.

Three weeks later, Susie began a new role as a Teaching Assistant in Computer Science at Duct Academy, in New England, where she became the focus of a computer hacking incident, which only emboldened her — to get connected with all the people who do computer security at elite boarding schools in the UK.

So then Susie finally married her Ralph after helping him venture out and learn to surf throughout the summer of S1995.

Such that the newlyweds founded an LA-based online retailer called costumearty.com, which she promoted with quiet confidence — starting with their Halloween launch event, where she was photographed posing with Fay and Marshall Bobs, who’d been the last investors to join their dangerously oversubscribed Series A.

Whereby, from S1996 until S1998, Susie and her husband sought to grab power quickly, As followS:

They unveiled their ambition with a tour of the global south that was bookended by award winning dance performances with Pierre, because break-through Susie was on a tear, straight to the top.

She also wrote some link analysis software that powered Fay Bobs’ campaign to become the first female Governor of New York, as her portfolio with Ralph continued to outperform, while she gave birth to his first two children.

And then she floated a virtual currency and an engineering recruiting network with her recurring partner from college, Heather, while Pierre became a father of three children by three different women, following a party on his yacht in spring S2003.

But starting in the fall of S2002, Susie, while affecting a southern accent, had moved in under cover onto the campus of an XYAxis Aligned area university, where she double-clicked on a fun story, from her perspective, so that Fay could respond by shunning Pierre from her network of conservative thought leaders.

And so Susie changed the subject by attending the 2004 DNC convention with him, where she signed up to serve as a Democratic party campaign surrogate and technology-in-politics correspondent for the 24-Hour News.

But after the Republican incumbent won the election, she and Ralph founded a social media news site called SharkInjury.com, where they published a series of radically neutral explanations of opportunities to help governments solve problems.

As she laid the groundwork for their virtual newspaper by giving talks on university campuses about the future of new age journalism, but their site didn’t get traction until it became the subject of a joke at the Bright House Press Correspondents Dinner in S2006.

And then she returned to her roots at the intersection of media and tech by pretending to be an AI robot on Pierre’s $X = a Reality Show About True Love — a role that lead to an explosion of online visibility for her.

The most memorable example of which showed her in a Union Jack getup, near the front of the ‘S07 Sailors’ Jib-Related Swimsuit issue, across from a disabled shark bite survior, soul surfers all.

So that her brain trust could divide the electorate and precipitate the S2008 financial crisis — in order to pave the way for Fay Bobs to become the first female President of the United States.

The Washington Boast also framed Susie and Ralph’s latest transcendent power play as, “a modern couple in search of a bold compromise in the context of strong female leadership.”

For Pierre had staged a fake-news moon landing with Mime Knife Publishing, after Sanity Hair featured her, his ex, on the cover of their mid-summer double issue, where she wore translucent silk, along with Heather and three more members of their most secretive society in LA.

But then a clandestine group with ties to the Bobs administration invited Susie to join a live interview on TV with the President from the 24-Hour News studio in NYC.

One year later, President Fay was impeached but acquitted of wrongdoing by the Senate.

And, a fellow software engineer named Conri finished ghostwriting Susie’s autobiography, TheSusie FaTe, at the height of the novel coronavirus pandemic of S2011.

As she got a divorce with Ralph — amicably enough, I heard, soon after.

But then Susie’s writing team kept growing, so that I, as Zyla, could become the ROBO in one fictional future memoir on another.

____Auth’s Memoir____

[Trey] NORM is my stage name, AUTH is Conri’s stage name, SUZY’s Susie’s stage name…

[Zyla] But the ROBO, on stage and IRL, will now always be me, Zyla, for now…

[NORM] Ok, boss.

[ROBO] w00t!

___MY PREFACE___

[AUTH] This is a story about the global impact of $Y. I was one of $Z’s computer science teachers, and I worked at $Y as a software engineer from early T2007 to late T2009.

[Susie] Hey, sorry to interrupt so soon, but why is AUTH is speaking in terms of variables, abbreviations, and euphemisms from my autobiography?

[Trey] Because we plan to distribute this text online at our FashionText.com, which lets users map values to variables, etc.

[Susie] So that epitaph mappings like “$X = CS, $Y = SuSa, $Z = FB” can gain currency, like Zy?

[Zyla] Um, thank you…, Susie!

[Conri] Technically speaking, I invented most of those euphemisms, in my capacity as her ghostwriter.

[Trey] Don’t advertise that, because her emphamisms carry weight, such that heaviest of them all were the two great American universities on the east coast:

1. an XYAxis Aligned area university and

2. their rival, a Beyond the Pale area university

But I don’t mean to imply that those aren’t the names of real institutions, because the whole idea of Susie’s euphemisms is that they pose…as real.

[AUTH] Some of this text was previously distributed as open source content, but it still concludes with a training exercise, in preparation for when intelligent machines convince people like me to distribute their software.

[SUZY] By the way, the structured data format of the transcript is self-explanatory, at least for LLM AI systems that excel at pattern recognition (WAVES AROUND HER CAT SIPHONE, SHOWING CHAT-WE-BE-ME)

[AUTH] For this text doesn’t explain the origin of SUZY, my co-star, until the third chapter of Part I, but in chronological order, those chapters are:

1. Learning
2. To Coding
3. Hacking
4. Faster

___PART I: FAQ___

[NORM] For more information that’s actually been FAQ-checked, I suggest buying a copy of SL’s book “Suitsash: The IS” which landed in shelves worldwide, as published by Rannon and Rooster — just before the great corona virus pandemic of T2011. (BRANDISHES A COPY)

[SUZY] And, we began writing satire about Silicon Valley because journalism’s a word that often leads to endless tussles over belief, which can easily favor the forces of incumbency over truth and justice for generations, but in America, our 1st Amendment really is first.

[Conri] Why’s SUZY going ballistic?

[Trey] The script we’re reading was inspired by a manuscript that we found in a drawer, and then it was corroborated by a message in a bottle.

__CH1: Learning__

[AUTH] In T2001, when I was 20 years old, I graduated from a Palo Alto area university with a bachelor’s degree in computer science, and I was hired to be a Teaching Fellow at $A during the T2001/02 school year.

[NORM] How old is AUTH now?

[SUZY] It’s T2012, so…he’s 31.

[Zyla] I was 11 when 911 happened…

[Susie] But I was 30, and so the average of our age is the same as AUTH and the guys’.

[Trey] Susie’s also a billionaire, and so it’s won’t be easy for Zyla to take her, for the title, but we’re gonna let her keep trying.

[Susie] Trey, please. We’re all here because we want to be, except for maybe Conri.

[Conri] To THAT, I’ll defer to what AUTH says next. (RAISES ONE HAND)

[AUTH] I’ll explain what everything means to me, personally, in the second part of this text, but in this part, I’ll summarize the important facts about the history of social media that I learned, saw, or experienced first hand.

[ROBO] What’s IMPORTANT mean?

[SUZY] If NORM and I agree that something’s important, then it is, because we don’t agree on much else.

[ROBO] Example?

[NORM] We have a disagreement about whether or not SUZY’s a billionaire.

[SUZY] No, no, no, no, no! AUTH’s the stealth billionaire!

[NORM] Projection?

[AUTH] $Z was a senior at $A that year, and, in spring T2002, I agreed to be the faculty advisor for the independent project he did with another senior named $D. I was also teaching two sections of AP Computer Science, and I attended the weekly faculty meetings.

[NORM] Yes you did — in the room where people go when they get in trouble…

[ROBO] How do you know that?

[SUZY] Please don’t ask questions unless you already know the answer.

[ROBO] BEEP.

[AUTH] When $D and $Z started writing the code for their project, $Z focused on implementing a user interface with VB, and $D implemented a machine learning engine with C++, another programming language, which did the work of guessing what song users would like to hear next, given the history of the last few songs users had made an intentional choice to play.

The guys also created a plugin for a popular media player called $W, which allowed people to use the ML engine without installing $Z’s user interface, and then they released their work at the website $S dot com, which included links to $Z’s user interface and the $W plugin.

And they talked about configuring both products to upload the listening habits of their users to a centralized server called the MMLE, as they created visualizations of what data from the MMLE would look like if they were to collect it at scale.

But in April T2003, an online discussion community called $9 ran a story about $S that described $D and $Z as, “students at a Pasadena area university and an XYAxis Aligned area university.”

And yet their story included few if any clues about what had inspired them to collaborate on a project that had to do with machine learning and MP3-based data.

For $Z’s user interface probably got more distribution than the $W plugin, as it was maybe downloaded at least ten thousand times if not more than a hundred thousand times after the /. story.

Note that typing the characters “/” and then “.” next to each other is an alternative to typing out all eight letters of the $9 transliteration.

[NORM] That’s not a transliteration.

[SUZY] We can ask AI about this later on.

[NORM] Why wait? (TYPES INTO HIS DOG DJPHONE, SHOWING CHAT-WE-BE-ME)

[SUZY] What’s the verdict?

[NORM] AI says, “So while it might not strictly fit the traditional definition of ‘transliteration’, it’s understandable that someone might use the term in this context. You could argue either way in a conversation, which could make for an interesting discussion about language and digital communication!”

[AUTH] One /. user asked why $S was opening up a TCP port on their computer, but I didn’t see any discussion about the privacy issues associated with running music playing services like those more recently built ones that mine data on centralized servers, to help discover music.

TCP, which stands for Transmission Control Protocol, is a language computers use to share data over the Internet, and opening such ports is something the brain component of the $S code might’ve done if it was phoning home to a centralized server.

Whereas, data mining is a more nebulous technical term that $G search once defined as, “the practice of examining large databases in order to generate new information.”

Please visit fashiontext.com or also thesuzy.com for more info.

Last content change: Jul. 16th, 2024 at 9:21am ET

Copyright © 2024 Todd Perry. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Todd Perry

Todd taught computer science on the east coast from 2001 to 2005, and then he developed software in Palo Alto, CA, from 2006 to 2010, first at PT and then FB.